I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize