I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
