you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
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It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
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I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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