What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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