Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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