i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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