I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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