no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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