You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
