I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
