First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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