never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
