I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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