I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
