he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
