winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
