Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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