that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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