So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Randomize
