so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
