he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize