I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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