The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
