Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
