i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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