Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I didn't notice because vodka
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
