you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The uberlube is also flammable
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize