my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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