I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
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