I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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