if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
