Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
