There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
