I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
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im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
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Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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