Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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