Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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