Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you will always have a special place in my vag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize