Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
