we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
