Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
