Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
