they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
