Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
