Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
