Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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