Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
