sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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