o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
