do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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