then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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