'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How external is "for external use only"?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
