You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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