Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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