My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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