I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I wear drunk well.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
