I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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