You're my little dorito
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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