Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
