another moral hangover. fuck.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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